August 26, 2008

Confessions of a new mom

So the following post will probably be only understood by most moms. Let me forewarn the men about to read, you might feel uncomfortable, bored, or both so feel free to stop reading now. The inspiration behind this is just to vent. Some may be shocked or think me selfish or vain for thinking this way, but it is what it is. I am just being honest.

Reason's why I hate AND love breastfeeding:


1 - I can't eat whatever I want. Toby is extremely sensitive to certain foods I eat so sometimes I feel like I have to eat bland or boring food just so I don't have to deal with a meltdown. Sometimes all it takes is a slice of pizza to throw him into a crying fit. This has been a huge challenge for me, since those of you who know me well, know that I LOVE food. So right now I have to suppress my cravings for spicy Indian or Thai or Sushi or flavorful Italian. *sigh*

2- I hate feeling tied down. I am someone who loves, no treasures, my time by myself. Even before I was married I enjoyed having my alone time to just run errands, shop, read, whatever. So it's been an adjustment being the primary source of nutrition for another person every two to three hours. And it can get frustrating when I want to got out for long time I have to keep the fridge well stocked with milk. I really miss just having my body be my own. I cringed typing that last sentence because it does sound really selfish. Hopefully some of you moms share the same sentiments.

3- Engorgement. Ouch! If you don't know what it is, look it up.

4- I use to feel like all I was to my son was source of nutrition. The human bottle. Sometimes I felt like when he looked at me all he saw was this huge bottle full of milk instead of me smiling and cooing at him. And there are times I still feel this way but honestly now that he is older and more interactive his world doesn't revolve around much....well at least for a good three hours anyway.

5- I am thirsty and hungry all the time. This is especially challenging since I am hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and I already have to eat about every 2-3 hours. So now that I am suppose to consume and extra 500 calories a day because I am breastfeeding, I feel like I should just live and graze at a buffet bar all day long. And those of you who have seen the dark side of Debbie when she has had a sugar drop, have only glimpsed at what my hubby has had to endure these past 6 months when I've skipped a meal. Can we say Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Ahh...Poor, patient Nick.

6- Sometimes I feel like people categorize me as one of "those breastfeeding moms." You mom's know what I am talking about. There are some breastfeeder mom's that can become extremely critical of those who use formula. I don't look down on anyone who uses formula because I figure everyone does what's best for them and their baby. In fact, there were times where I wanted to switch to formula but couldn't because Toby refuses to take it.


1- It is an extremely bonding and relaxing experience. A natural sedative for me and the Tobeman.

2- Best weight loss plan I've ever had. Some of you will despise me for this but I can eat as many calories as I want. It's like my stomach has turned into a incinerator. That's right - eating large quantities of food and maybe taking some walks with the stroller seemed to get me back to my pre-pregnancy figure faster than curbing my appetite or spending hours at the gym.

3- It's less expensive. We save a TON of money by not needing to buy formula.

4- Toby hasn't had one cold, ear infection, or fever (hopefully I don't jinx myself). All those antibodies in the milk has really kept him out of the doctors office. Another money saver.

5- It's helped me be more selfless with my time and my body. At times its extremely gratifying and humbling to know that Toby is in this world because of me (and a little help from Nick) and he continues to exist because I provide him all his meals....and lots of love of course.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

breastfeeding is such an awesome thing to me, i love it because it creates an amazing bond that I don't think I would take the time to forge otherwise.
I might be one of those crazy breastfeeding moms you were talking about.I cringe when people use formula just because they want to. Breast milk is best for many reasons, and my belief is if you can give the best to your child then you should. Formula is great for those you can't breastfeed though. And I do have to say to myself, "it's their baby and family and whatever is best for them is whats important". I just try to do the same thing for my family, too.