And this is how I feel...
March 31, 2011
March 23, 2011
So I've been up since 4 am with throbbing hips and lower back and have been wondering if pregnancy insomnia really prepares a woman for a new baby - or simply exhausts her. To kill time, I started out with some mindless web surfing, only to end up perusing through a collection of favorite quotes I've held onto for the past 10 years. One of the quotes seemed to jump out at me and gave me the perspective I need to endure these final weeks:
“There is...a dimension of patience which links it to a special reverence for life. Patience is a willingness, in a sense, to watch the unfolding purposes of God with a sense of wonder and awe—rather than pacing up and down within the cell of our circumstance.
Patience is not indifference. Actually, it is caring very much, but being willing, nevertheless, to submit both to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.” - Neal A. Maxwell, “Patience,” Ensign, Oct. 1980, 28
Almost there. Just gotta remember it will all be worth it in the end. :)
March 20, 2011
So my little guy turned 3 on March 8th. He has gone from...
...to a large and in-charge 3-year-old! Isn't he so handsome?
We didn't do a friends party or even a family party this year. Partly because I could not get a date that worked for all my family members, but mostly because I already have little motivation to get dressed for the day, let alone plan a party.
So...Nick and I just did our own thing. We hid his presents around the house and played hot-and-cold until he found them. Then after presenting him with a very poorly made cake (you will notice there are no pictures below) we sang "Happy Birthday" and then ended the celebration with a trip to Kangaroo Zoo - a favorite place to visit for the Tobester.
And I forgot my sister Vanessa and her adorable daughter Jade came along too. Isn't she precious? I apologize for the bad resolution in the pics. I had to use the camera on my phone since Toby broke our digital camera.
All in all, his birthday was a good day. I know every parent says it but I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Everyone keeps telling me that age 3 is much harder than the terrible 2's. We shall see. Toby has never been an easy boy to raise so I don't really know how it could get harder. Every age has had a different kind of "hard" in it - if that makes sense.
I just thought I would share some classic Toby moments from the past year. I can laugh about these now, but in the moment you can bet I was at my wits end. :) Enjoy:
Last summer while running errands Toby suddenly flipped out and started pointing to something in the front of the car. "OFF!!! Turn OFF!!" I thought he meant the radio so I turned it off (this was not an unusual request as he is extremely sensitive to what is being played in the car-even if its classical music or talk radio). Toby went ballistic, kicking and screaming: "No, mommy! OFF!! Turn OFF!" I tried rolling down the windows, taking the CD out of the stereo, pushing every button imaginable until I pushed the A/C button and noticed he became silent. I pushed it again and as soon as the little light lit up, Toby started screaming "OFF!! OFF!!" all over again. I quickly turned it off but inside I was fuming. It was 100 degrees outside!! No way was he going to win this battle. I waited until Toby was distracted and quickly pushed the button again. Of course he eventually noticed I had turned it back on and insisted I turn it off. We played that game ALL summer long. Good times.
I'm really hoping that this summer he has forgotten his animosity towards the A/C button.
Nick and I wanted to take Toby to the Hogle Zoo for his first time. On the way there we took the wrong exit and were having a hard time finding our way back to the freeway. Of course my sensitive little guy picked up on the tension and started yelling "No, go other way! The other way!!" Nick and I tried to calmly explain we were trying to find the right road to the zoo and that he needed to be patient. Patience is not in his DNA. Every time we turned down a road or took an exit, he would scream that we needed to go "the other way!" the entire way to the zoo. By the time we arrived at the zoo, Nick and I were already worn out from trying to calm him down for the past 20 minutes. The crazy thing is, Toby STILL does this. Whenever we are driving in unfamiliar territory, he will always scream that we need to go "the other way!" I have now learned I have to over prepare Toby for every place we venture to. I tell him all the stops we will be making and try to constantly distract him if we are going somewhere new.
One of the most common things people notice about Toby is his never-ending supply of energy. There are busy toddlers and then there is Toby. I think he has more stamina and energy in one pinky finger than most of us have stored for an entire day.
When my sister from Alaska came to visit in January, she was blown away by his energy level. I couldn't help but ask her, "Were either of your boys like this?" To which she quickly responded, "No way. Gabe was definitely more busy than Aidan, but nothing like this." I always snicker a bit when we visit grandparents and after about an hour of playing with Toby they inevitably ask, "So when does he nap?" Nick and I just smile and say something like, "He doesn't. That's the crazy thing about him. He is like this all. day. long."
The most recent quirk with Toby is that somehow he has learned to put "anymore" at the end of all his rebuttals. Example: "I don't want to eat cereal anymore! I don't want to go to church anymore! I don't want to take baths anymore! I don't want to wear pants anymore!" This usually just makes me laugh because of how serious he is when he says it. I honestly don't really know what to say in return because he just gets angrier the more I try to negotiate with him. So I definitely have to pick my battles. If we are at home most of the day, sure, the no-pants thing is not a big deal. Other things I've had to be a little creative to get him to cooperate. He has definitely sharpened my problem solving skills, that is for sure. :)
So don't get me wrong, I love my little high-strung man to pieces. I wouldn't change one thing about him. I just wanted to highlight some of his more high-maintenance traits purely for entertainment purposes (and so I can read these to him when he is much older and have a good laugh). Some of Toby's softer, more endearing qualities are: He is always so concerned on how I am feeling. Whenever I am tired or stressed he will inevitably put his hand on my leg and ask "Mommy, you OK?" Sometimes he's even grabbed a pillow off the couch and told me that I need to lay down so that I will feel better (obviously something I have tried with him when he is cranky but still, how cute is that?). I love that Toby is such a good helper to me. Most of the time he is quick to help with cleaning up toys or putting away shoes or whatever. Toby is also an incredible athlete. He can throw and kick a ball farther than any 3-year-old I know. But I guess I am just a tad biased. :) Lately though I've been having many of those proud mom moments whenever we play ball in the backyard. He's got such enthusiasm for everything and anything athletic.
So that is the Tobester in a nut shell. Again, I wouldn't change one thing about him because I feel he has taught me so much more than he could ever learn from me. And as tough as these early years can be, I completely recognize how priceless and fleeting they are as well. I've got to take advantage of these unsolicited hugs and kisses while I still can. :)
Love you T-man. I'm so happy and proud to be your momma and look forward to the day you will have a baby sister with whom you can share your love for life. :)