June 10, 2009

Reality Check

"The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.” -M. Russell Ballard

Ever since we moved into our new place - which I absolutely LOVE - Toby has had a challenge sleeping through the night again. This was expected since he is in a completely different environment and bedroom. The first few nights I was shocked at how well he did. He only woke up once or twice but went right back to sleep when Nick when in his room to check on him.

The past couple nights however have been a different story. Nick is back to his 2 - 10 schedule so of course I am the one putting him to sleep. At the other place, the routine was bath, book, and bedtime promptly at 7 pm - and he was out the rest of the night! 7 - 10:30 has become "indulge Debbie" time. I would use it to: catch up on emails, laundry, dishes, do Pilates, savor a bowl of ice cream...you get the picture. Needless to say this is my favorite time of day because I can do whatever I want without interruption.

Well last night I had made quite the "to do" list for myself: unpack kitchen, computer room, sweep kitchen, finish final edits on book, update addresses with banks and other company's, and make grocery list. I had just put Toby to bed and checked my email when I heard him waking up. I went in his room comforted him and he went back to sleep. This ritual repeated itself every 30 minutes until finally I could tell the little stinker was wide awake and no amount of rocking or singing would put him back into a deep slumber. Instead of getting frustrated, I decide to just chuck the "to do" list for the night, roll with the punches. So, I grabbed a couple of his blankets, cuddled up with him on the couch and turned on Shrek II. Normally Toby won't watch cartoons but to my surprise he watched a good 20 - 30 minutes of it until he became disinterested and played with some toy's instead. Then he gave me his "tired signal" which I can never get enough of: he puts both arms around my neck, rests his head on my chest and looks at me with droopy, puppy dog eyes. *sigh* He is such an adorable, snuggly little boy! So I take him up to him room and we do our normal routine of cuddling before he drifts off to sleep. Well he got the cuddling part down, but just couldn't close the deal. I wondered if he just needed me for some extra comfort that night so I climbed into his crib and layed down next to him to see if that would help. Close, but no cigar. He layed there staring at me with his bright, beautiful eyes and I couldn't help but just smile at him. Then he reached over and played with my hair for a bit while babbling to himself. Eventually, Toby sat up and grabbed his stuffed animal dog (which happens to be a Pembroke Welsh Corgi) and starts barking. I can't help but laugh. He turned to me and gave me his priceless Toby smile and it was then I realized what a great night it had been even though hadn't gone at all like I had planned.

I am so grateful for these small, precious moments in motherhood that take you by surprise and make all the tough, tear-your-hair-out moments so worth it!

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