Zingers

I am such a sucker for well made movies. Not only do I like to watch them for the great cinematography, superb acting, or intriguing storyline - I love to glean movies for great one-liners. You gotta love those movies you can just quote over an over again and they never get old. Like: "Get that corn outta my face!" -Nacho Libre. Or Lucy: "You called everyone but Slurpee Heaven!" George: "That is not true. I did call Slurpee Heaven. They didn't want you. Heard you had attitude. Said you weren't 'Slurpee' material." - Two Weeks Notice Or one of my favorites: "Ray! Ray! You're chanting! Hey, once they get in here, [points to Ray's head] Its over pal." -The Burbs

Along with all the funny quotes, I love the ones that kind of catch you off guard- as if they were written just for you and your current circumstances in life. Recently while watching You've Got Mail a few lines in there just grabbed me. Even though I had seen this movie several times, this particular scene seemed just perfect to how I felt. I could completely identify perfectly with Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan):

Joe Fox: [talking via email, to who he doesn’t know is Kathleen Kelly] Have you ever become the worst version of yourself. That a pandora's box of all the hateful things, your spite, your arrogance, your condecension has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away... you zing them. "Hello it's Mr Nasty". I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about...
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email, to who she doesn’t know is Joe Fox] No I know exactly what you mean and I'm completely jealous. When I'm confronted by someone I get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning over what i should have said. For example what should I have recently said to…
[meaning confrontation with Joe]
Kathleen Kelly: …a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existance.
[stops and thinks]
Kathleen Kelly: Nothing... even now days later I still can't figured it out...
Joe Fox: Wouldn’t it be great if I could pass all my zingers to you, then I could always be nice and you could be nasty whenever you wanted to be. Although I must warn you... when you eventually have the pleasure of saying the thing you want to say at the moment you’re wanting to say it... remorse eventually follows...

Like many of you, I have a couple people in my life that seem to evoke frustration or disappointment on a regular basis. Even if they have blatantly been inconsiderate or insensitive to my feelings, I am completely incapable of putting them in their place. I will just wallow in exasperation until I come up with all these "zingers" and imagine how the conversation should have gone: me triumphant with an eloquent scolding. But alas, every conflict ends up the same way: I end up venting to my husband (unless he's the offender), writing in my journal about it, or just treating the person as if nothing happened. *sigh* My husband on the other hand has no qualms in saying it like it is. Even though at times it can be embarrassing that he is so candid with people, I am completely envious of this attribute. Can anyone else relate? Maybe that's why we are so complimentary to each other. He helps me to become more assertive, and I try to gently encourage him to hold his tongue when it could do more harm than good.

But just one time, one time, I wish I could just think up and unleash the "zingers" at the exact moment I wanted to. Maybe that's why writing has become one of my greatest passions. I can express myself when I want, however I want, and I can limit who I want to let into my little world of rhetoric.