We're all mad here...

...well, just me actually. So remember a few months back when I was about to swear off Mirena because of all the crazy side effects (Nausea, extreme fatigue, weight gain, bouts of crying, and my personal favorite, hormone craziness)? Well I talked to my doctor about all my symptoms and he said that my body may start to tolerate the IUD if I give it another month AND if by then, I was still unhappy, I could simply have it removed. I begrudgingly agreed -partly because I was just starting to enjoy lighter periods and partly because I didn't even want to think about the "other" birth control alternatives.

So around the 4th month I noticed a much happier me. "I'm back!" I thought to myself, as I sang and danced while Toby ate his lunch. (Yes, I sing and dance for Toby quite frequently. He's entertained and its a great work-out for me. Hey, don't knock it til you've tried it). It was a wonderful, liberating feeling. No periods, no side effects, no worries!

Then, very slowly and ever so gradually the malicious Mirena returned in all its fury. I suddenly found myself crying over baby commercials and worrying about, well, everything. Then today I reached my breaking point. All it took was some lost car keys to push me over the edge. I was at my parents house visiting with my brother when I realized my keys were missing. I frantically looked everywhere, becoming more and more agitated all the while Toby continued to wreak havoc around the house: spilling the dog's water for the 2nd time, pulling down Halloween decorations, splashing in the fountain water...it was like he was feeding off all my nervous energy. My brother sensed my sudden mood change and did his best to calm me down. "Deb, it's ok. We'll find your keys."

And we did. Well, Terry did. I was still a basket-case muttering about how tired I was and how I wish Toby would just sit still for more than 30 seconds.

Later, when I was by myself I thought about how ridiculous I had behaved and felt so embarrassed and ashamed. After a long talk with my good friend, Deborah, I felt much better. She sympathized with me because at one time she had been on Mirena and had experienced the exact same side effects. It so nice to know I wasn't alone.

So tonight I have been mulling over my options:

a) Stay on Mirena and just stick it out until we try for baby #2 (which we decided wouldn't be until spring 2010)

b) Get off Mirena and risk the return of my terrible endometriosis cramps. yuck.

c) Get off Mirena and try for baby #2... (ahh! not sure If I am ready!)

It's a tough decision. I think I am going to be doing a lot of praying over the next couple of weeks.

Anyway, thanks to all who have patiently read this post. I just needed a moment to vent and my blog always seems the perfect place.